My fav poem : "If I Knew"

I came accross this poem as I read the book tittled "An hour to live,An hour to love" (as published in my prev post).It was written in the memory of all those who perished in the 9/11 tragedies. The words in the poem really moves me emotionally and it fits the philosophy about not taking life for granted. Therefore,I'm dedicating this poem to all of my family,friends and those who know me for I really appreciate all of you truely for being one of the beautiful colours in my life.This poem bears repeating....

If I knew

If I knew it would be the last time

That I'd see you fall asleep,

I would tuck you in more tightly

and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time

that I see you walk out the door,

I would give you a hug and kiss

and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time

I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,

I would video tape each action and word,

so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,

I could spare an extra minute

to stop and say "I love you,"

instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time

I would be there to share your day,

well I'm sure you'll have so many more,

so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow

to make up for an oversight,

and we always get a second chance

to make everything just right.

There will always be another day

to say "I love you,"

And certainly there's another chance

to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,

and today is all I get,

I'd like to say how much I love you

and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,

young or old alike,

And today may be the last chance

you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,

why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes,

you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time

for a smile, a hug, or a kiss

and you were too busy to grant someone,

what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,

and whisper in their ear,

Tell them how much you love them

and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"

"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."

And if tomorrow never comes,

you'll have no regrets about today.

by Dr. H Solomon

Source:http://www.happyfeelings.com/pos/if_i_knew.htm

Point of blankness

Have you ever been in a stage of blankness where nothing seem to be digesting in your brain?A total standstill of brain function.Everything is black and doesn't make sense. Well,my point of blankness happened on one fateful day where I was standing in front of a crowd.

It all happen in one of the days in 2008.I was given the task to recite a poem in front of like 60 over people and VIPs.Really important VIP.They were high ranking officers from UiTM and a company including its CEO, Dato' Ahmad Pardas.

So,you can imagine the burden and level of my nervouseness.I prepared a poem which I had gone through in what seem to be a hundred of times.Wherever I go, the poem is in my hand.I want to ensure I'll remember every single word and not to make a shame of myself,my faculty and UiTM.

When the time has come,the emcee invited me to the stage.I walked nervously.Heart is pounding frantically.I took a deep breath and stand by the mic.First,I welcomed all the officers and the audience.Okay, that was a good start.So, i recite the first sentece of the first verse.

Suddenly...I lost track!I can't remember my next verse.I tried to remember the lines but it is all jumbled up.I started to panic.My visions were blur.I keep telling to myself,just go on.Don't make a fool of yourself and UiTM.All eyes were on me.What should I do?

So..the next best thing I did was to recite the next line slowly to buy some time to think before goreng time!I took another deep breath and then, I don't know what happened.I just make up my own poem.Well,as long as it rhymes and make sense, its a poem baby!I just blurted out whatever lines I remembered and make up the others.Yup..it was goreng all the way.Haha..When I think it has been long enough I then ended the poem.I walked back to my seat, hoping I didn't screw everything up and that no one knows I made everything up.

We had some food after the event.I was relieved that it has ended.I was a bit frustrated though because I'm afraid that people will realize my cover up.A bit of emotional at that time.But then,suddenly my programme coordinator approached me and congratulate me for the poem.I was like..what?I just smiled and thanked her but deep inside me a huge burden was lifted.I guess it wasn't that bad after all.

Before we went back, a couple of officers also approached me and compliment me for the presentation.He asked which faculty I'm from and all.Whoa..okay..Ceh,previously sad and nervous,now I was glad and happy.I'm pretty glad that I'm able to make my faculty proud.hihi..Amazed as well that the goreng poem works.Hahaha..

I came home that day with a new self confidence. Now I know that,in desperate times, just stay focus and just goreng all the way.Goreng is now my new fav technique.I also thanked God for helping me that day and the al-Fatihah that I recited help me to regain my focus.

So,tips of the day:

>>goreng!(pastikan secukup rasa)
>>just be calm in any situation
>>always pray to God

My assessment experience:first stage

A couple a months ago, I attended an interview and it was so much fun! I met new friends and they were all so much fun to hang out with. I enjoy meeting new people and it's a good way to widen your social circle. I also gained new experiences from the interview. Yeah, I've been through several interviews but to date, haven't got through many of them, but I just need to look ahead until the opportunity comes, right?

So,back to the interview thing. There are 3 stages(I know it's a lot) you need to go through. Here, I'll write about the first stage.

The first stage interview was scheduled on the very next day after "the crazy night",which of course I'm not prepared at all since I only had 3 hours of sleep. I woke up at 6 am and was rushing all over that morning since my clothes were not ironed, my certificates were all over the place and my bag was a mess. I was nervous,stressed up but I enjoyed it.Haha..At 6.45 am, my dad arrived.So, i just grab whatever I saw,hoping that I will not left anything. I also grabbed my heels,yesterday newspaper and makeup kit and quickly entered into the car hoping that I could steal some time to apply them in the car.A girl got to do what a girl got to do right?

So, on the way there, I was busy preparing myself and rearranging the certificate. I can't believe it was so unorganized.It took me like 30minutes to arrange them.My dad keeps stealing glances on what I'm doing.I'm soo thankful that he didn't give me any lecture about the chaos.Hehe..

As I arrived at the destination, it was only 7.30am and the interview only starts at 9am so we go and had some breakfast. I didn't had anything since I was so damn nervous. I just flipped through the newpaper I took,hoping to get an insight of current issues.Yeah,I blame myself for being ignorance.Mental note:be more aware of the current issues.It's important!(I hope I'll be able to do this)

Later,my dad left and I hang around at the interviewer's office. Walking around the place hoping to get a little info about the company. I even asked the maintenance person where I could get their phamplets.Haha..But,all I got was their divisions and their corporate culture.Okay..I hope it was sufficient though.I've set my mind to "goreng" all I can today.Yeah, something that I'm quite good at.hehe..

At 9am,I registered myself and we were briefed about today's assessment.Fist level,there will be a group discussion and later there will be an online test. I was saying to myself, ok..I can do it.It's like MUET.Group discussion is a norm in UiTM.All I need to do is talk and if there's any dominant psycho,I will cut him and say,"ok..we value all of your opinion but I think we should hear others out too right?".Yeah, I'm mentally prepared and got some tricks under my sleeves. Just stay focus and insert anything about the company value in the discussion.

We were divided into groups and my group was first called for the group discussion.Huhu..I walked in with confidence and try to be calm to have a clear mind. It's important so that my brain can work properly considering that I didn't get enough rest.The topic given was about landslides, whether it was caused by natural forces or human activities. Okay, not a tough topic,or that's what I thought.

5 minutes were given to prepare. I was a bit blur on what point to write. Nervous and panic. God, please help me through this. "and times up, you may start the discussion", the assessor said.Shoot!I only had one or two points.Unexpectedly, I started the discussion.Haha.Even with all the nervous thing going on, I took the lead. "In my opinion, landslides happened because of natural forces. This is a serious matter as it has leaded to death...bla..bla."Yeah, grammer was all jumbled up, but I just has to said it.

Everyone gave their opinion.Some talked about expanding the geology expertise and what not and then this guy started to talk point of balance in a building at highlands and another was talking about Penang residence area that was stable regardless of what I'm not so sure about. I was like..huh?I was blur. What the heck were they talking about?So,for the sake of talking, I just talked and repeat other ideas.Reemphasize them =).It's better than sitting and not talking at all. But, midway through the discussion, I thought, this can't go on.I must present new ideas.Within that split second, I looked back at the points that were on table..and WHAMP!Goreng time has come.Haha..and I said, "we've been focusing on the future. But what about now? We should do something now. We should..bla..bla..bla..preserve our forest..bla..bla..to ensure a sustainable future(the company's mission)"Bullseye!So the discussion steer back on the new idea.Thank god.

After 30minutes, the assessor said "and times up.thank you.You may leave the room". Fuh, hope I did well though my grammer was all over the place.I'm also thankful that there's no dominant pshyco in the group as well =)*happy*

Then, we had lunch. THE FOOD WAS DELICIOUS!!!I mean seriously delicious.I heard they paid rm60/head for the food.So me and my new buddy eat like a happy child utilizing the RM60 worth of buffet.The dessert was marvelous as well.All I can say is, YUMMY!

While waiting for the test, my group sat at the auditorium. We talked about each other.Some of them are from UiTM too.It's fun talking to them. Each of them were good during the discussion and I'm impressed by the way they speak. One of my groupmate was kindda cute too.Haha..Cuci mata jap. I must say, I did'nt feel intimidated or inferior among them because we are all the same which really helps during the prev discussion.

So later, it's online test time. First, is the mathematical test.25 question in 20minutes.I thought it would be a simple add and minus kindda thing, but noooo...There's graph, charts, and tables. The question wasn't straight forward either. My strategy here is, if you can't get the answer, just press any number that looks logical. Thankfully, I'm able to finish this test within the time frame.

Next is the comprehension test.I thought it would be better than the math test.But...noooo..still more effing tough.They gave you like a few 3 paragraph articles and you have to choose the true statements.Sound easy right, but with all the scientific terms and bombastic vocab, to answer 25 question in 20minutes is not sufficient.When there's 1 more minute left, I was only midway through the question!Panic attack!My strategy then:tekan je ape2 jawapan yang ada.Harap2 betul.Nothing else you can do. The funny thing is, eventhough I was blindly clicking away the answer, I still can't manage to finish "tembak"ing..haha..

So,after what seem to be a long day,at 5pm, we were done and I can't wait to go home and get some sleep. Praying that I'll get through the 2nd stage.

Till then...

P/S:thanks to all of my friends who gave me good luck wishes and to J who is willing to open up my e-mail early in the morning to recheck my interview points.I'm sorry if susahkan you because I really wasn't prepare.Thanks again=)

today

hr ni laptop wat hal..ishh!
nak emo jap!

xkn ar pasni nk wat memorial plak..
tlg la elok balik..huhu..

An old friend

You have always been there throughout my 2 years in university.
Always helping me with my research and completing my assignments.
During my free times, you are the one that always entertain me. Remember all those korean movies marathon that we watched together and the endelss hours that we spent playing games? That was the good old times.

I still remember the day we first met. My father introduced you during my first semester as a diploma students. That was the period where I need help the most in completing my projects. So, you came just in time to save the day and you are still here all these years. Thanks to my father as well for playing a part in this.

You're a good secret keeper as well. All of my deep secrets are well saved in your memory. You never repeat it to other, unless of course if others invaded your memory. You also help me alot in making sure that all of my works are well organized and safely kept for future reference. That's the best function that you can offer. You are speacial as well since you can also write in Mandarin which is another feature that all of my other friends tend to be impressed with.

You really are a strong fellow. All these years, you have withstand so many things-heat,virusses and whatever things that I don't even understand. You never give me major problems as compared to your peers. You can still function while others tends to break down in the middle of the road. But not you and I hope you will continue to be strong as ever. Just be there with me for a few more semesters okay.

You are patient enough with me. Eventhough I've always scolded you for being a bit slow or suddenly hang while I was busy doing my work, but deep in my heart, I don't really mean it since I know you have aged and it's my fault as well for not maintaining you well. But, don't put the blame entirely on me. Yeah, but I admit, I'm naive in this maintenance thing. I'm quite impressed actually on how you can still manage to live all this while.

Anyway, I've learned to be patient when handling you because I know you have a short life and now that you are at your golden years, you tend to be a little bit sensitive. So, I'm dedicating a post for your to show that I'm grateful to have you in my life.

Thanks for being my laptop. My very first laptop. =)

That's my straw!

I'm not making any fuss about little things, but I just want to express my opinion here(which of course is the purpose of a blog at the first place).

Anyway, yesterday I went to Sunway Pyramid to do some shopping. Then, my mum and I had our dinner at one of the fast food chain there. So,at the restaurant, after placing my order, the cashier put my tray aside at the counter while waiting for our food to be prepared. My tray was sitting beside another woman's tray. Since she ordered her food first, the staff then prepared her food before mine. But, one thing that that woman did really pisssed me off. As she was leaving the counter with her tray, she unexpectedly with a non guilty look, took the straw which was in my tray! The straw that I personally took for my self. Out of the many straws in the restaurant, she choose the straw which is in MY TRAY.I was like.."what the hell?". Wah, suka2 hati je ambik. Kalau minta permission boleh tahan lagi. Ni tak..geram gak ar time tu.

So, within that short moment as she walked away from the counter, I was doing some calculation in my mind. Should I just let it go since it is just a small matter or should I stand for my rights and do what's right? Then I said "excuse me, EXCUSE ME..". The woman turned around. I continued, " I believe that's my straw". She then with a shocked face, put back my straw and the staff who was nearby then gave the woman another straw. She didn't even say she was sorry (atleast I didn't hear it).

But anyway, I was satisfied that day. Not because I got my straw back, but because I was doing what's right. I'm standing up for my rights and not let others step on me. Actually, I still can't believe that I actually did that, but yeah..I actually did it. And that's something that we must always do in life. No matter how small that matter might be, always do what's right, speak up and stand up for your rights!

To all of my friends..

The finals has ended and it's time for all of us to take a rest as we all deserve it.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish Happy Holidays to all my friends. And thanks to those people around me who have made this semester the best semester I've ever had! I really enjoyed myself this semester and had a great blast.Therefore, I would like to thanks to new friends and not forgotten the old ones. I've learned and experienced wonderful things and have travelled to places that I've never been to (even if it's in Shah Alam.hehe). There's so many things I would like to thank for but I know i could never write them in words as the list is endless.

I would also like to apologize to those who I have hurt them either directly or the other way around and for all the mistakes and wrongdoings I've done. I've started to miss my friends and U life(gosh, I can't believe I actually said that.haha)..

Anyway, till then, hope to see you guys soon! =)

Crazy night Part 2:conclusion

The second part of "crazy night" is to go karox.Others gave reason that they need to sing their heart out to ease the goosebumps they had after watching Jangan Tegur. They were not ready yet to go home since the images in the cinema is still fresh in their mind. So all of us went to Quality Hotel to unleash the singer in us.

We all had so much fun singing! We sang a various range of songs, from sad songs to love songs, rock, pop and even dangdut! I must say, I'm impressed with all the talents in the room that night. Ada chance nak masuk Karox Idol..haha..The few hours in the karox room is not sufficient enough to hold all of the talents and the microphones keep on changing hands without rest!

Anyway, we went back home pretty late that night. And to conclude my "crazy night", I only have another 3 hours to sleep before I need to attend an interview the next day which I'm not prepared for.Huhu..I guess I just have to try and stay awake and just "goreng" whatever I can during the interview.haha..

By the way, we also celebrated a friend's birthday that night. So, I'll take this chance to wish you Happy B'day =) And also special thanks to the person who also treat us with the karox and all of my friends who participated in this night which truly makes it a memorable night.

With that, I end Crazy Night:First Edition of 2009. Wait till next time for our second edition. Au revoir!

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it's all a mystery =)